Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize