Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
