saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
