yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
