I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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