So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
