This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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