U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I am mentally ready for anal.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
