Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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