We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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