I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
