i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize