yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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