As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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