"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Randomize
