somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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