Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
