I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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