do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
