Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize