Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
