Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
