...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
