if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i out mim tonsoeep
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