I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
