somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
