You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
