so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
