We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
