ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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