I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
