I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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