That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
