Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
