We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
