the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
PANTIES FOUND
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