the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
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I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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