Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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