I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
