She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
did you just send me my own nude
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
