We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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