just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
