It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
