so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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