those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
