is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
im so drunk with asians
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You need a sexual gate keeper
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.