One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
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What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.