Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm passing your future prison.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?