You can't special order awesome
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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