Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.