I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
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Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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