He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
