dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
