I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
