i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
