Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
