so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
