Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
