I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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