Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
