do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
