While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
