so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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