I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
