i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have post one night stand depression
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
