I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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