I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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