Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
