I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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