I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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