We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
