This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize