Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
